I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ugly people sure do ruin things
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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