i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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