$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
