I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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