We're like a lot better than the average bears
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
