You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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