Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
