Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
