We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
