just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
