Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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