What a fucking waste of an outfit
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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