yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
