At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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