bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
