dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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