is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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