Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
