I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
