part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
