fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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