i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
