the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
