He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
