She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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