so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
