He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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