I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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