i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
