he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
