There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A+ Viking dick
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
