Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
