I queefed so loud it echoed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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