I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
