How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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