The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
