i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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