absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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