i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
