Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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