I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
