some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
