Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He? As in you personified your dick?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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