I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Houston, we have a squirter
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
