his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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