Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
