i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
