I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
