cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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