I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
barbara walters just said penis...
i think i have two assholes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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