I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
